So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
