Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
