bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
