Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
