im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
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