I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
