NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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