ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
