It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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