The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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