guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
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