im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
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