pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Randomize
