Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
So vagazzling was a success
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
