he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
