You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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