Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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