I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
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