I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
