This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
