Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
