Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
