New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Im part way to drunk.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Randomize
