'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
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