well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
FUCK WHALES
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
