That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
