Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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