break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
You're a waste of cheezeits
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
