I feel like I'm in dance class right now
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Randomize
