Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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