I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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