he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
