what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
