My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
