i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
