Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
