I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
i drank out of a bidet.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
