I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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