i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
