there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
