i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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