I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
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