U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
