hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
