Buhtt sex?
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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