I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
My ass is underappreciated
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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