..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
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