Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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