I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Randomize
