I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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